


The Red Wizard

by storm_of_sharp_things



Series: The Quest for Q [3]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Inception Fusion, Community: MI6 Cafe | mi6_cafe, Crack, M/M, MI6 Cafe Choose Your Own Adventure April, Meta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:01:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23658019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storm_of_sharp_things/pseuds/storm_of_sharp_things
Summary: MI6 Cafe Choose Your Own Adventure April!The quest continues...We travel to#6 - The Red Wizard: Using ourWriting Workshops, learn a new skill and apply itJames and Alec visit the Red Wizard, keeper of the Workshops, and decide on Short Fiction
Relationships: James Bond/Q/Alec Trevelyan
Series: The Quest for Q [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1690834
Comments: 10
Kudos: 14
Collections: MI6 Cafe Collections





	The Red Wizard

**The Red Wizard**

James and Alec kept the rocky forested shore to port and the open sea to starboard, and followed the coastline east until a vast river delta system presented itself.

“Four major river mouths and then around a stubby promontory,” Alec directed, consulting the map.

“What are we looking for?”

“Well, if you trust the icon on the map, some kind of roundish hut with a peaked roof and one chimney.”

“Because there’s only going to be one structure?” James scowled absently as he steered the yacht.

“James.” Alec rolled up the map and put it away, and came over to hold his face and give him a quick kiss. “We are in a shared dream based on a fantastical map created for an online fanfic challenge.”

He nodded, letting his shoulders sag a bit. “I’m worried about Q,” he admitted.

“Hmmm,” Alec studied him for a moment and then pulled out his phone.

“What are you doing?”

“Texting him.” Alec flashed a grin at him. “He’s somewhere here in the dream, right?”

James rewarded him with a fond smile. “You really should have gone into dreamsharing.”

“Nah. The explosions never felt quite right.” With a wicked eyebrow waggle, Alec hit send.

The response was nearly immediate. _Bit busy at the moment, agents. Please continue your efforts._

They both regarded Alec’s phone. “That was...less helpful than usual,” Alec said eventually. _A little specificity wouldn’t go amiss, Q_ , he typed back.

They could practically hear the exasperated huff. _Follow the map. I’m at the dragon’s forge working on the antidote, the nanotech is running a bit amok just now._

“Well, that’s only slightly concerning.” James rolled his eyes and returned his gaze to the shoreline. “Is that hut on stilts?”

“Makes sense for a tidal sandbar, I suppose.” Alec studied the water as James steered toward the odd structure. “The depth looks like you should be able to get fairly close to it.”

James was frowning at the hut. “Alec, do those stilts look...scaly...to you?”

Alec blinked and then reached past James and dropped the throttle into neutral, stopping the boat’s forward motion. “Those aren’t stilts,” he said with a quiet dread in his voice.

A man with red hair came out of the hut to wave at them from the porch. “Ahoy the boat! Are you here for a workshop?”

“I suppose so,” James called back, trying to nudge Alec away from the throttle.

“Those are chicken legs!” Alec hissed. “This is a baba yaga’s house!”

“At the beach?” James asked incredulously. “Besides, that’s a man wearing a rather conservative business suit, not an old witch, though I hope that I’m not misappropriating gender or cultural roles here by pointing that out.”

“Sound carries over water,” the man called with a smile. “I’m not a baba yaga but I _am_ housesitting for one. Luckily, when you housesit for a baba yaga, the house comes to you. Vanya,” the man laid a hand on the door frame, “their yacht has a fairly deep draft. Would you move further out so they don’t run aground?”

The hut made a quiet rumbling warble and then lifted one long leg and then the other, freeing the clawed feet from the sand before sidling closer.

Alec was still wary, but James just sighed. This was unlikely to be the weirdest thing to happen in the dream. He frowned at the oddly familiar character waiting for them as the hut waded deeper. "You look very much like a man I ended up having to strangle on a train once."

The man grinned. "It's a nearly infinite multiverse out there, my friend. It's entirely possible. Who knows--in some universe I might be...oh, I don't know...a hunter of sharks? In fact, I believe we have a workshop to that effect. Do come in, won't you? Welcome to the Red Wizard's Workshops!"

Inside, there were dozens of baskets of scrolls and a hanging tapestry embroidered with a list of available workshops.

"Short fiction," Alec said quickly after reading down the list. "We choose short fiction."

The man laughed. "Very well, how short do you..." One of the baskets rustled and a scroll began working its way up. "So a 200-word short fic is to your taste," the wizard said with a smile. "I see your writer is on their game." He picked up the scroll and unrolled it.

> Q was an absolute genius in many things but he was rubbish at making scrambled eggs, truly awful, and while Bond winced at the thought of telling him he also didn't think he could bear any more unpleasantly crunchy breakfasts with burnt bits and shell.
> 
> This shouldn’t be beyond a double-oh, Bond thought sourly as he contemplated the normally horrifying American custom of applying catsup.
> 
> So Bond woke up early the next day and intercepted Q before he got to the kitchen. “Good morning my darling, for a special treat, let me show you how my old gran made eggs,” he said brightly.
> 
> He tugged Q back against him and laid his hands over Q’s and guided him though gently breaking the eggs, removing any bits of eggshell with pieces of eggshell, delicately seasoning with herbs from the window garden, and coddling the eggs in a pan slicked with butter over a low heat, all the while pressing his body along Q’s lean back, encouraging him with shifts of his hips.
> 
> When they were done, and the scrambled eggs turned magnificently onto a plate, Q turned to him.
> 
> “James...what kind of relationship did you _have_ with your old gran?”

Alec lost his mind. "Did...did that really happen?" he gasped, clutching at James' shoulder.

"So we're done here?" he asked the wizard, ignoring Alec's wheezes altogether.

The Red Wizard smirked. "Your workshop requirement is fulfilled. Enjoy the rest of your adventure."

James pulled Alec back out onto the yacht and shoved him at the bar. "Make me a cocktail and then act like a proper navigator," he ordered, turning the boat back toward the open ocean.

**Author's Note:**

> With a nod to Robert Shaw, who played the villain Donald "Red" Grant in the 1963 film _From Russia With Love_ and also the shark hunter Quint in _Jaws_


End file.
